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Development milestones at 18-24 months

What’s happening at 18 months?

• At around 18 months, your toddler is beginning to understand when things aren’t as they should be – whether this is you calling something by the wrong name, or they’ve spotted a stain on a carpet.
• Language skills are starting to develop, and he’ll be starting to understand most of the words you use, pairing up words more and more, such as – ‘me go’.
• Recognise your toddler’s need for independence, and treat him how you’d like to be treated.

What’s happening at 19 months?

• You’ll find that you’re able to get further with compromises, than direct commands; and by agreeing a course of action, as opposed to demanding that it happens.
• Unstructured play is what he needs at the moment, so don’t try and introduce any formal lessons until your child is around three years old.
• At this age your toddler will play near other children, but not necessarily directly with them. Don’t worry, this is totally normal behaviour.

What’s happening at 20 months?

• At 20 months, your child will have acquired a great deal of new physical skills. He can go upstairs by himself, run and kick a ball.
• His running won’t be that proficient yet. He’ll sometimes fall over and need assistance to get back down the stairs again. Jumping and ball-throwing over-arm will also still be too difficult for him.
• At this age your toddler tends to only feel secure when you’re present, and will get upset if you leave. So make things easier for both of you by stating in a general sense when you’ll be back, using terms – such as ‘after lunch.’.
• You may be taken aback to find your once docile baby becoming aggressive with you and other children.
• Biting, hitting and pushing are common, and are carried out for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it’s experimental, sometimes it’s because your child wants to feel more important.
• Learn not to overreact to this behaviour, and don’t retaliate by hitting. This will be confusing and counter-productive as it teaches him that hitting is acceptable.

What’s happening at 21 months?

• You will probably welcome this age, as your toddler may have a new interest in housework. He’ll want to help you to wipe over surfaces and to dust.
• He’ll be feeling increasingly more secure in himself and interested in having things done the way he wants. This sort of behaviour is a sign of real growing independence.
• Show that you recognise and respect your toddler’s individuality and ask him to make his own choices about some things, such as the jam he prefers on his toast, and the clothes he wants to wear.
• At this age it’s possible he’ll have also learned how to dress himself and to wash and dry his hands.
• Creating a daily routine for your toddler, such as set times for eating and going to bed, can help him to feel more secure and in control of life. These routines will also make your life easier as you will be able to use the same plan virtually every day.

What’s happening at 22 months?

• At 22 months, your child will have become increasingly focused on the specific things he wants to accomplish, and the outcomes of his attempts are very important. He wants his ideas to work and will become frustrated if they don’t.
• Your toddler may have become increasingly frightened of an array of different things in life such as monsters and strangers. Listen to his fears, reassure and help your toddler to feel brave about life.
• At around this time you may be helping your child to make the transition from a cot to a big bed, meaning you may find him regularly making nocturnal visits to your bed. Use a nightlight in the room if he’s afraid of the dark.
• Be patient, and don’t let him get too used to sleeping in your bed. Instead, encourage him to like being in his own bedroom and bed, perhaps by using fun duvet covers, toys, and decorations.

What’s happening at 23 months?

• By 23 months, your toddler will be able to hum, sing and make three-word sentences such as ‘dog run out.’.
• Drawing skills are developing well, and he may also be able to copy circles and make line drawings.
• He understands simple puzzles and opposites such as – tall man, short man, big dog or little dog.
• It’s at this age that he’ll develop an interest in playing with other children, and will start imitating what older children do.
• Your toddler has a fluctuating need for closeness with you, mixed with self-assertion. He’ll want a hug one minute, and the next he’ll push you away.
• It’s important not to take any of this behaviour personally as rejection from you. It’s all a part of him establishing his personality and independence.

What’s happening at 24 months?

• At 24 months, your toddler is capable of having conversations with you using two or three word sentences.
• He now sees himself as a separate person, and will be keen to talk about what he wants, likes and needs in his life.
• You’ll notice that he’ll now visualise things more; organising, categorising and putting things in order. But he’ll still struggle with abstract concepts.
• He’s very curious about the world, and you’ll hear the word ‘why’ a lot. If you can’t answer his question immediately, instead of brushing him off, take the time to find out the answer and explain it in a way he’ll understand.
• Around this age children becoming increasingly aware of their gender, and start to become interested in imitating grown-up behaviours that are gender-based, such as ways of dressing and sitting.
• You shouldn’t worry if you have a boy who becomes interested in imitating women – it’s simply natural experimentation that’s an important part of his development.
• Remember that your small child is often confused by the big world around him- causing emotional moments, fear, anxiety and worry. This may help to explain many of the mood swings and clinginess that you see develop at this age.