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The emotions you may experience

Most men ride a real emotional roller-coaster before the birth of their child, and also worry whether the emotions they experience are normal. So here’s a quick run-down of possible feelings you may experience, and an explanation of why they may occur:

Jealousy

Jealousy can be a really unexpected and worrying emotion for some expectant dads. You’re supposed to feel happy about the new arrival, but there’s a part of you that feels resentment that your partner’s attention is now focused on someone new. The related feeling is one of guilt for having felt the feelings of jealousy.

The most important thing to remember is that this is your baby too. Focus on building a bond with your child while it’s still in the womb. You can spend time with the bump, talk to it, and touch it. Even make play lists of soothing music to play to your new baby.

Imagine your child at different ages and the things you’ll do together and talk about, and you’ll start to have a relationship with the new person who’s about to be a part of your life.

Is it my child?

Many men fear at one time or another that they may not be the biological father of their child. These thoughts are usually not to do with a lack of trust in your partner, more a disbelief in your own ability to create life.

Try and accept that this is something you are capable of, and that you are worthy of. Fertility is something we’re born with, not something we have to earn.

Resolve feelings about your own father

Think about the relationship you have had with your own father. If it was good, you’ve got a great role model to follow. If it wasn’t such a good relationship, now is a good time to resolve some of those issues so you don’t carry them over into your relationship with your child. You really can resolve to be a different type of father to your own.

A heightened sense of mortality

You may start to reflect more than ever before on the nature of life and death, as you consider how dependent your child will be on you and your partner.

It’s not unusual to start to develop a new interest in your family history at this time, and to feel closer to your relatives. You become increasingly aware of your family line and how precious your experience of life is.

Guilt

If your partner is extremely sick or in pain, it’s natural to begin to feel some sense of guilt about what your partner is experiencing. However, it’s unlikely that your partner would actually blame you for her pregnancy, and you’ll both know that the experience of having a child will outweigh the pain and discomfort your partner may experience while she’s pregnant.

Talking is the most important thing

Be honest with your partner and encourage her to do the same. If you can both admit to your fears and anxieties you can help to address them for one another, and will feel even closer as a result.