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Sharing your bed with your baby

The debate continues about sharing your bed with your baby. Some would never do it, believing it to be unsafe for the baby. Some parents wouldn’t think of sleeping any other way. So what are the arguments for and against co-sleeping?

Advantages and disadvantages of co-sleeping

Some people find that a wriggling baby in the bed with them impacts on their own sleep too much. Having your baby in bed may also diminish your love life and feelings of intimacy. Sometimes you or your partner may feel resentful of your baby’s presence.

However, some couples enjoy the extra time co-sleeping gives them to spend with their baby, and feel that their emotional bonds with their baby are strengthened because of it. Co-sleeping babies also tend to disrupt their mother’s sleep less as they can be easily feed in bed.

Babies can find it calming to be in bed with their parents; crying and waking up far less. And some parents think that their co-sleeping babies grow up into adults with higher self esteem and confidence.

Bed safety factors

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

• Some parents may be concerned that co-sleeping will raise the risk of SIDS in their baby.
• However, the official advice is that it’s safe for you both as long as it’s done correctly.
• Never leave your baby alone in your bed.
• You should never leave your baby unattended in your bed.
• If you do need to briefly leave your baby alone, either buy a bed rail or place your baby into their Moses basket or cot when you’re away.

A firm and secure mattress

• Your mattress needs to be firm; otherwise your baby could suffocate or overheat.
• Check for any gaps between the mattress and frame, or between the headboard and wall to ensure your baby’s not at risk of falling into any gaps.

Light bedding

• Use very few lightweight blankets to reduce the risk of smothering and overheating.
• Remove extra pillows and stuffed toys, as your baby could also get wedged against these and suffocate.
• Never let your baby go to sleep with his head on a pillow, as this increases the risk of smothering.

Temperature

• Your baby needs to be only lightly dressed when sleeping with you as you and your partner’s bodies will give off heat, naturally raising his temperature.
• Get a larger bed or a bedside cot.
• Your bed needs to be large enough for you all to be able sleep comfortably, so if yours is a bit small consider getting a king-size bed.
• Alternatively, think about buying a bedside cot that you can attach to the side of your bed, or a normal cot beside your bed with its side down.

Never use sofas or waterbeds with your baby

• Sofas are dangerous for co-sleeping as your baby could easily get wedged in between cushions.
• Waterbeds are far too soft to share with your baby, as they have deep crevices around the frame that could also trap your baby. Your body movements could also send him rolling off the bed.

Don’t put toddlers and infants next to each other

• You can have your infant and your toddler in your bed at the same time, but they can’t be allowed to sleep next to each other.
• This is because your toddler won’t understand how fragile your baby is and could inadvertently suffocate him.
• Your toddler may also be quite boisterous and could accidentally hit or kick your baby.
• Make sure you and your partner are sleeping between the children.

Your health and habits

Sleep disorders

If you have a sleep disorder like sleep apnoea that makes you sleep very deeply, you should never sleep with your baby as you could easily roll over on top of him.

Smoking

If you’re a smoker and you sleep with your baby, you’ll increase his risk of cot-death – although it’s still not understood why this happens.

Drugs and alcohol

• Using drugs and alcohol can cause you to suffer from both memory impairment and to sleep too soundly. These are serious risks to your baby. You may forget he’s there or you roll on top of her and don’t realise.
• The best advice is to not take drugs and alcohol if you intend to co-sleep with your baby.

Make sure co-sleeping is right for all of you

Whatever you decide, you need to make sure that everyone in the family is happy with the decision. If you want to try co-sleeping, ensure your partner is happy with the idea and that they understand all the potential risks and how to avoid them. Try co-sleeping – but if your partner doesn’t adjust fairly quickly to the idea you may want to leave your baby to sleep alone.