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What to expect at 9 to 12 months

What you can expect in the tenth month

This is an exciting time for both you and your baby, as she’s able to do and enjoy so many more different things. You may find that your routines have become more settled and that you can plan a few more family outings.

What your baby can do

At ten months of age she’s probably starting to want to pull herself up to a standing position using you as support, and she may also be starting to make sounds like “mama” and “papa.”

Learning to be patient

This period of your life may be a real test of your patience. It’s hard to make definite plans, and schedules are constantly changing around your baby’s needs. It’s important to stay flexible and to try and take the changes you’re experiencing in your stride.

Sleepless nights

You may be starting to feel as if you’re taking part in some kind of sleep deprivation experiment, without any stable routine in place. Talk to your partner about taking turns in looking after the baby some nights so you can get a full night of good quality rest. If you become sleep deprived you won’t be able to function well during the days, and certain activities like driving may even become dangerous.

Feeding

The only thing you can’t do for your baby as exactly as your partner does is breastfeed her. This can make you feel a bit helpless when your baby’s crying due to hunger. You know what she wants but you can’t provide it in the way she wants it. However, do persist in giving bottle feeds either of expressed milk or of formula. It will help you to feel close to your baby and is another way in which you can continue to build the bond.

Spend quality time together

You may be spending a lot of your time at work, and very little with your baby during the weekday evenings. So see if you can organise a routine for just you and your baby over the weekend. Even if it’s just a weekly walk, you’ll enjoy the time you spend in each others company and it will help you to stay in touch with your baby’s rapid developments.

What you can expect in the eleventh month

Changes in your baby

Your baby has become far more active and responsive, and is starting to be far more aware of what’s happening in the world around her. She will probably really enjoy you singing and dancing with her, and she’ll be increasingly interested in watching other kids playing. Rolling and stacking toys are a good idea at this stage – anything she can move and interact with.

Keeping a closer watch

As your baby becomes more and more mobile, and more likely to pick things up and put them in her mouth, you‘ll need to keep an increasingly close watch on what she’s up to. Your home should be fully “babyproofed” to prevent her from injuring herself. You need to be especially watchful when you take her out of the home environment.

Changes in your sex life

It’s probable that most new dads have found that their sex life has changed profoundly during their baby’s first year of life. After giving birth your partner will have been unable to have sex for around six weeks. Even after this some women may find that their sex drive is extremely diminished, or that they have medical problems which are preventing them from being sexually active.

Talk with your partner about this change in your sex life, and see if there are any fears or worries lurking in either of you that are preventing you from becoming sexually active together. One of the biggest challenges your partner is facing is how her body has changed. She may be feeling unattractive and tired out. Make sure you still tell your partner how attractive you find her, and touch and caress her in a loving way.

Avoid putting pressure on your partner for sex, and reassure her that it’s not a problem. You’re happy to go at her pace. Try focusing on non-penetrative activities, such as oral sex, that please her.

Prepare for first birthday celebrations

Your baby’s first birthday is fast approaching, so spend some time with your partner planning how you’ll celebrate this achievement. Take time to reflect on the events of the past year, and with your partner recognise how much you’ve achieved together.

Your baby’s first birthday marks this achievement, and is the first of many happy birthday celebrations you’ll celebrate together as a family.

Take plenty of pictures – these times with your baby may feel like hard work, but many parents say that they go by too quickly. In years to come you’ll treasure the pictures of your child’s very first birthday.